Confessions...

I am tired. I am tired of being the go to gal, the one-stop-shop, the laundry girl, the short-order cook, the nose and bum wiper, the source for all things unreachable. I won't even go into the house cleaning part because frankly, in that area I am severely lacking lately. I am ashamed to even think these words, much less write them. But in all honesty, they are still there. Most days I can push these thoughts away--ignore them, not even come close to thinking them. Then there are other days where I would give anything to have just 2 hours without any little voices clamoring or any tiny hands pulling (and not feel guilty for having those 2 hours).

I do love being a mother, I really do--honestly. I love the beautiful spontaneous smiles of my baby girl. I love the soft pats on my face from Walter's hands. I love the look of rapture on Wyatt's face when he has made a new discovery. I love to sit back and watch Reid think his way through a problem. I wouldn't trade my life for anything, anywhere. Becoming a mother has taught me a lot about sacrificing, putting myself last (not always successful at that one), choking down cutting remarks (not always very good at that one either), and begging God for more patience. But being a mother has also taught me a lot about love--unconditional, all-forgiving, even when you are dog tired love.

I have this cross-stitched poem on my desk--right next to my computer monitor. My mom had it when we were little and she handed it down to me before I even had children. I guess she knew I would need it!

Give me patience

when little hands

tug at me with

ceaseless small demands.

Give me gentle words

and smiling eyes

and keep my lips from

hasty sharp replies.

That when in years to come

my house is still beautiful,

memories it's rooms may fill.

~

Believe me, I need to read and apply it every day--sometimes more than once a day! I am sure "in years to come" I will wish for little clamoring voices and tiny hands pulling. But for now-- Dear God, please give me patience....