enough

like the stench wafting from the newly mucked-out barn floor

my soul is laid bare
stinking
putrid
my thoughts infested with maggots


not enough
not good enough
not savvy enough
not thrifty enough
not pretty enough
not happy enough
not social enough
not skinny enough
not networked enough
not patient enough
not mommy enough
not talented enough
not.enough.

not enough time
not enough exercise
not enough prayer
not enough practice
not enough reading
not enough creating
not enough cleaning
not enough smiles
not enough tears
not. enough.


and like the lone flower
reaching up out of the barn-fresh fertilizer
i reach
i beg
i cry
i plead
please remove the stink around me or
please remove me
please...


and He says
the fertilizer will make you grow tall and strong and beautiful
I am enough

I. am. enough.


and he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you: for My strength is made perfect in weakness.
II Cor. 12:9